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On Burning Out

October 25, 2010

It’s been a while coming, but I’m finally at the point where I can say it with certainty: I feel burnt out.

I’m lucky to have the job I have, but lately I’ve lost the joy I used to see in it.

I enjoy eating healthy, and I’ve done it for a year and a half, but lately I’ve been in the mood where all I want to do is eat a giant burger and watch TV alone all day.

I haven’t been in the mood to exercise, and I’ve been forcing myself through it.

I’ve kind of lost joy in a lot of my life, and I need to figure out a way to get it back.

Los Angeles is a great city, and I enjoy living here, but lately I’ve had so much on my plate that I’m starting to resent it. I’ve fallen out of love with the city that brought me opportunity and a better life.

I need to get away, even if for a weekend. I was supposed to spend next weekend in New York with my dad (that was the big surprise I was alluding to early last week), but life happens and so does disappointment– at this point it seems more like constant disappointment.

So now I’m kind of stuck. I need to get out. I need to see some fresh faces. I need a break from the constant rush of things I’m obligated to do every day. But I can’t.

I’m dealing with it the best way I know how– to spend my days doing only things I enjoy, put chores and “to-dos” on the back burner, and to appreciate the little things that can be fun (like a solo trip to The Grove, just aimlessly walking from store to store), but it’s not easy. I still feel caged.

Tonight, I’m just going to chill out alone. And instead of that burger, I’m going to eat some healthy comfort food. Because I know that, despite feeling a little down on myself, I still owe it to my body to take care of it and eat well. And I’m going to do some yoga, because I owe it to myself to stay strong on the outside, so that when I’m stronger on the inside, I’ve taken care of myself all along. There’s nothing worse than adding to a down spell by letting yourself go. It makes getting back to happy that much harder.

For dinner I made some yummy but light food  so that, while it’s still healthy and has tons of nutrients, it also hit the spot. And what better way to hit the spot than with a little pumpkin?

I sauteed brussels sprouts and tempeh in some Garlic Gold and topped it with some homemade pumpkin-sage cream sauce. It wasn’t recipeworthy, but it satisfied my taste buds and was light enough for a sweet treat afterward.

I served it with a slice of toasted rustic bread I got at the Hollywood farmers’ market, topped with about a tablespoon of light cheese.

Dessert was some low-fat frozen yogurt from my favorite place in L.A.– and a convenient minute-and-a-half drive from my place.

I know I’ll get over this slump– probably not until I get the time away that I need to recharge– but in the meantime, I’ll truck along.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. October 25, 2010 1:12 pm

    Sorry to hear that you are feeling this way! I have been in the same spot these last couple of weeks and it is hard.

    Do you think you could sneak away for maybe a road trip to get some down time? Perhaps to Santa Barbara or Encinitas in North County San Diego?

    • October 25, 2010 4:55 pm

      I think a weekend in Santa Barbara or Solvang would be so fun. I’ve been to Solvang before, and it’s so pretty.
      But… I think my upcoming weekend may have a forecast of mouse ears. 😀
      I hope you feel better soon, too! It’s no fun, for sure.

  2. October 25, 2010 7:04 pm

    Aw, hugs. There must be something in the air- you are in good company at the moment- lots of people seem to be in crappy moods/situations. I hope that you come out of it quickly. Oh, and you are a smart chica to continue to treat yourself well during this period. It’s easy to fall off the deep end with bad food etc… Hang in.

    D

    • October 25, 2010 8:14 pm

      Thanks, Deb. I’m working on it, and I’m feeling a little better today. 🙂

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